Steam Cleaning #33: Crazy Taxi

Crazy Taxi is a PC port of an old SEGA Arcade/Dreamcast game. It doesn’t feel like it’s meant to be played at home, without quarters, or without a plastic steering wheel in hand. As such, I spread out my hour of Crazy Taxi play over weeks and even months. The game isn’t built to pull be back for more but I’ll be darned if it doesn’t have a vibe to it.

Old and wild rock/pop hits blare as I barrel down the street, narrowly missing cars, civilians diving out of the way. I sling myself off the interstate onto a rooftop, then sail through the air before landing in the target area. Just seconds too late. My customer exits the vehicle and slams a boot into my car in disgust.

Moments like that stick in the head, but that’s really all Crazy Taxi has. Even with some bonus objectives in the Steam game that involve popping balloons, taking ramps, or drifting, there’s just not much to do here. Picking up the game and popping an imaginary quarter in the slot provides a few minutes of utter madness, with poorly translated controls and a barrage of sound and traffic.

Crazy Taxi was funny enough to mess with in the arcade back when it came out. Translating it to Steam may make some classic SEGA fan happy, but to me this one can remain in the 90s.

Verdict: 58 minutes played.

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